Been awhile.
More specifically, a YEAR AND A HALF.
Sorry, guys. I know most of you keep up through pictures/snippets on Facebook and Instagram, so I assume we're all good, right? I also realize your lives don't revolve around the Duff Family Blog.
So. A lot has happened. I was looking through pictures just now and I know I won't cover it all...so I'm going to try to cover the important stuff.
1) We are all still here. And we all still love each other. I'll start with that because sometimes that is a celebration in itself in that span of time.
2) We are blessed. We have amazing family and friends. We just spent a weekend full of conversation and LOTS of laughter with the Duff side of the family for Thanksgiving/mas. I am thankful that my in-laws accept me for who I am (sorry again for the "Leave it to Beaver" charade stunt I pulled. Thank you for laughing and loving me even after several glasses of wine.)
3) My side of the family must also be addressed as equally amazing. I am so lucky, you guys. I never even knew that so many families can be dysfunctional....because I have two amazing families that are kind and loving, no matter what. I have these amazing barn doors that everyone commented on how beautiful they are this weekend...and I know the time and effort it took for my parents to make them. They mean more, because of it. No matter where I live, no matter which house, they will come with me, along with a million other gifts/items from my parents. We missed them this week, but thankful they enjoyed each other in our absence as I know we'll all be together again soon to celebrate family.
4) We have married off a nephew to a beautiful girl named Morgan (the name alone is special to Darrin and myself) on our 11th anniversary. I love her more as I continue to get to know her.
5) We have lost a father. The first loss of a parent that my husband and I have endured. This paragraph won't do him or the loss of him justice, but I have a few things to say anyway. It is heartbreaking, no matter the cause or the timing. It is painful and it is strange and it is heartbreaking. I did not know Gary before his stroke, but I can imagine him because of the memories Darrin has shared. I like to think Darrin got everything that was good in his dad. When he laughs with our boys and the jokes he tells. I hear their laughter and hope that Darrin's sounded the same as a boy....the roughhousing even when he is exhausted....the snuggles before bed as he reads them their bedtime book. I don't have to have memories of pre-stroke Gary to know that he raised a good man. And I'm thankful for the man he raised.
6) We have a change of career. Guys. I loved teaching. I really did. But I have to be honest about how draining it was for me. Especially BAND DIRECTING....the time involved is so much more. I couldn't do it anymore with our two boys and with my HS Band Director husband's hours. There is so much that I miss about teaching band, but I have so much less stress and so much more peace in my life now. I am just now realizing that it's okay to feel that way. It doesn't mean I didn't love my students, too. I have come to realize that I am a person who needs a little bit of quiet in order to be sane. I am not only more sane now, but happier as well. I am thankful for this new endeavor and I hope it lasts forever. And teachers, guys? Teachers. They deserve a special spot in heaven. They really do.
7) We still struggle, too. Hudson, guys. I love him so much. School is hard. Playgrounds are hard. Friendships are hard. But we're getting there. We are working. Every day, we are working on it.
I watch him and Brody play and I'm eternally grateful for BOTH of them. I pray that their sweet relationship is always that. I pray that they remain close. I pray. I used to think that people were born and for the most part, were molded into who they would become. Then, I had children. And mine are complete opposites. Both dear. Both special. Both mine.....but both so different. Brody's life seems so easy sometimes. He wakes up happy. He smiles and laughs a lot. He gets over things quickly, doesn't let life get him down easily. And Hudson...I feel sad for him sometimes because life seems harder in that respect. He has to work harder to be happy....and it doesn't seem fair to me.
And on the flip side, I watch Hudson memorize his piano pieces so quickly and then bring it down a step like it ain't no big thing...and I think THAT'S unfair! He was reading at 2 1/2 years old. He doesn't remember learning HOW to read because he never really had to... he just read. What will he do with that? I pray he will do a lot of great things with that big ol' brain of his.
9) One thing the boys say a lot is, "It's taking FOREVER." They say this when they are impatient. They say it when they want life to move faster for them. I remember saying the same thing as a kid. At times, as an adult. Lord, help me to never say this again. Life is going by quite fast enough, I must say. Lord, let it take forever.
