Sometimes life gets crazy busy and I get tired of living these memories behind a screen, so I unplug.
I decide to live them in real life.
And then sometimes...something important enough happens that gives me reason to speak.
Hudson is now 9. We have a 9 year old. Nine. He is finishing up 3rd grade and continues to amaze us with his creativity, imagination and his determination. He is the kindest big brother in the world.
Brody is now 6. My baby - he is 6. SIX years old. He is all that is kind and warm and lovely. He truly believes Hudson has the answer to any of his questions. Hudson is his hero. The Lord had a plan in that.
Hudson has begun reading this blog, and therefore, so have we again. It has been an interesting project, revisiting the past 9.5 years. Much has changed, much has remained the same. I worry about some of the posts and his reaction to them (the autism spectrum diagnosis....many of our frustrations...) but those of you who know me, know I rarely shy away from the truth. So that is what I'm going to continue to do. Tell the truth.
Today I took the boys for a haircut after school. They were long overdue. Some unfortunate events have cropped up in our lives, effectively shoving many lesser important tasks (like haircuts) to the side. I was finishing up my work day, distracted by my phone and emails. Brody was finished with his haircut first and I caught myself, again, getting irritated with his near constant questions. "Which one should I choose mom? They have orange, or root beer or pineapple lollipops? Mom, which one? Mom, which one should I choose?!" I replied, "I don't know, Brody, which one do you want?" He said, "I want you to pick!" I said, "Orange...try orange." Then, my sweet boy. He chose orange.
In the middle of our exchange, a young man came in (who clearly also needed a haircut in a bad way). He was around 20, I would say. (see photo - he's the one that you can see, behind my sweet boy). They asked for his phone number and last name; he gave both. Then they asked, "Is it Andrew?" He told them "No, that's my dad. I'm home for the summer from college." And then. Then this tall, handsome young man sat down, near my excited, smiling 6 year old baby. And I thought...that's my kid. Before I know it, that's my son, coming in here, home from school, needing a haircut and all I could hear was, "Is it Darrin?" and he says, "No, that's my dad..."
I looked at that young man, a stranger to me, and I saw my sons.
Ten years flew by in my mind and I saw my grown sons.
And then, I put my phone away.
I listened to my boys as they told me about their day.
I gave them one of grandma's cupcakes that I pulled from the freezer (listen...I cook. I don't bake).
Lastly, the past month has been one of the hardest months of our lives, Darrin and myself.
However, good things have already shined through it.
We know we are loved, beyond belief, by so many.
We know we are supported, through thick and thin.
I feel so fortunate to have been lucky enough to marry this man and the past few weeks have only served as a reminder of that and as a testament to his character.
We are thankful to family, friends, and all who are somewhere in between the two who have reached out in loving support.
If I had to choose one life, I would choose this one, every time.
Oh, and we got a sailboat. We might just sail the world together, he and I...and these babies we made.