"There were parts I liked and parts I didn't"

So. Here I sit again, in an attempt to recap a week's worth of adventures.

Monday:  Hudson told me, "I have two friends.  One is Luke, you know that boy.  The other is Rul, from my school. I need more friends."  We then talked about how to make and keep friends, how to share interests and ask about other's interests and how to take turns talking.

Tuesday:  I had everything worked out.  My friend, Steph, was going to watch the boys that night since I had my Middle School Football game band performance and Darrin had his marching rehearsal (his first contest was this Saturday and he couldn't miss rehearsal).  I left work and went to daycare to get the boys and then haul them off to Steph's.  I took one look at Brody and thought, "Oh. No."  You know when it's YOUR kid and they look at you and you know RIGHT AWAY they are sick...?  'Cause they're YOURS?  Yep.  That was it.  I tried to push that thought to the back of my mind, telling myself, "No, he's just tired...it'll be fine." I got Hudson buckled in the car and Brody was sobbing while walking to his side of the car.  I kept asking him, "What's wrong?  Use your words and tell mommy what's wrong."  He used NO words.  He threw up.  All over me.  Needless to say, I missed my band's performance that night.  The most amazing part in all of that is the man I teach with.  He is ALWAYS completely understanding when it comes to my kids.  I felt horrible having to miss and he refused to let me feel guilty about it.  I am so incredibly thankful for him.

Wednesday: Asperger's won.  That's all I can really say.  Sometimes Asperger's wins.  It was a rough night.

Thursday:  Darrin had his football game.  I took the boys to Market Street for dinner/playground time.  This did not last long. Hudson fell and bumped his head and then proceeded to scream and cry at the top of his lungs for the remainder of the evening.  It hurt, granted.  It totally hurt him.  I give him that. He had a bump on the back of his head that HAD TO BE painful.  Hudson, however, has no filter, MOST of the time when it comes to controlling his emotions in public....So he refused to leave but yet, made everyone miserable by screaming and crying at the top of his lungs while aimlessly wandering the playground structures.  You should have seen the meltdown when I told him he had two minutes to stop screaming or we would need to leave.  Also, when we arrived, I told him to "keep an eye" on Brody.  He literally, put his eye on Brody.  Like, leaned over and touched his eye to Brody's head. Good stuff.

Friday:  I had MY Middle School Night at the LHS football game.  It is SO MUCH FUN now that I know so many of the High School kids.  It was VERY LOUD and slightly chaotic trying to get that many kids fed on time and combining 4 middle school band programs with 1 high school band program just makes things kind of crazy, loud and overwhelming.  I was trying to get pizza onto middle school kid's plates while parents and former students were trying to talk and hug me, etc...I had to go stand in a corner and breathe for a minute and I thought, "This must be what Hudson feels like, all the time."  Everything is a little louder and a little brighter.  Everything is a little more exciting and a little more uncomfortable and at times, painful....it must be EXHAUSTING for him.

Saturday:  Darrin had his first Marching Contest of the year.  I took the boys to Lil' Dragons (Hudson's martial arts class) and then Lego Land.  It was SO fun.  The boys BOTH behaved AWESOME.  There was a boy in line in front of us, who was flapping quite a bit.  He would be fine for a moment and then turn and face the wall and flap his arms uncontrollably.  I looked at Hudson and there were a couple times he did his "eye" thing  (he takes his thumb and first finger and puts it on his eyelid above and under his eyeball, essentially opening his eye...as if trying to hold his eye open, unblinking).  He tends to get upset when I ask him why he does this.  He tells me he does it "when his eyes feel funny"....I don't think it's a vision problem.  I think maybe it's just a tick, sort of....an anxiety thing.  Anyway, the other child's Autism (or Aspergers or Autism Spectrum Disorder is what I should probably call it) was much more clearly visible to others.  There was a part of me that was thankful for that, and I feel like a HORRIBLE person typing that.  Another part of me wondered (again) if we jumped the gun.  IS THIS Asperger's.  And if it's not, WHAT is it...I think that's why they have put everything under one HUGE umbrella (Autism Spectrum Disorder) because the grey area is SO, SO huge.  I think we're all a little bit of something.  We're all under some sort of umbrella.  Also, at one point, in all the chaos that is Lego Land (it was really crowed and really chaotic) there were all these little kids (like Brody's age) and a couple of big kids (pre-teens and young teens) playing with the car ramp (you can make your own lego car and then race them down a ramp).  Before I knew it, I saw one of those teenage boys move his car out of the way when Brody clambered up to the ramp, letting the little kid go first.  I looked him in the eye and mouthed, "Thank you."  He nodded and smiled like it was no big deal.  I wanted to yell at that young man, "IT IS A BIG DEAL! IT IS A VERY BIG DEAL! YOU ARE A GOOD YOUNG MAN AND YOU GIVE US ADULTS REASON TO HOPE FOR THE FUTURE!"

After LegoLand we walked by *sigh* the Hermit Crab stand.  We are now the proud owners of two Hermit Crabs (Hudson's is named "Lego" and Brody's is named "Peppa").  I really hope they don't die.  The boys love them.

Today (Sunday fun day):  Today, I went to Petsmart and found myself staring at items pertaining to Hermit Crabs, wondering what has come of my life.  Then, I got my answer when the boys got home from the playground and saw their new Hermit Crabitat and freaked out with excitement.  That. That is what has come of my life.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  This afternoon, I had a movie date with Hudson.  He took me to see "Boxtrolls"....I have to admit, it was REALLY good, but it was actually kind of scary and creepy at times, which I had no idea it would be.  Hudson got really scared at one point and I told him we could leave if he wanted.  He said no, he wanted to see how it ended.  I told him it would have a happy ending (Right?!  I mean, it HAS to, right?!  It's a kid's movie!).  Thankfully, it did have a happy ending.  After the movie, I asked him if he liked it.  He said, "There were parts I liked and there were parts I didn't like.  But the parts I DID LIKE were more than the parts I didn't like."  I told him, "Hudson, that's exactly how LIFE is.  There will be parts you like. There will be parts you don't like.  There will be parts that are scary and parts that are happy and parts that are exciting and parts that are sad.  And in the end, you have to HOPE and PRAY for a happy ending."
That's what I pray for. Every night, anyway.